Pet parents are supposed to keep their little ones caged at all times on a plane. But I can understand this elderly lady opening  Mandy’s cage on the flight from Newark to Phoenix because it’s a long trip and they were in first class, where I usually travel also.

My mommy usually abides by this rule but it depends on the length of the flight. In the photo above we were flying all the way from Zurich to Los Angeles.  I needed to breathe a little bit during 12-hour flight. There were only two other passengers in first class and they were seated next to each other as far from us as possible. So there was plenty of room for me to stretch out.  Plus, my mommy knows I would never do something like bite someone or run around a plane. The most I do is beg for human food, and only from her.

Some people will argue that pets shouldn’t be on airplanes anyway. But we went on a six-week European vacation. What was she supposed to do with me? Keep me in a kennel for six weeks at the cost of about $3,000. Or not go and then blame me. Both of us love to travel and this was our family vacation.

Thankfully I have the kind of parent who would never check me like a piece of luggage. So many dogs die when they travel in the hold. I imagine little Mandy and her mommy were going to Palm Springs for the winter to escape the east coast winter. I like them! But Mandy’s owner, and all owners, should know their dog’s behavior well enough to predict how it will act in certain situations. If there’s any question then it’s better to err on the side of caution.

Pets and planes do go together but it’s up to the pet parents to be responsible.

All of the treats are organic, natural and wholesome, which makes my mommy very happy. See me eating the Pumpkin Spice Biscotti in the photo above? I don’t have many teeth left, as you can see, but I have enough! I really love the  PeaMutt Butter Bones. When my mommy opens the bag, the heavenly scent sends my tail wagging.  The Banana Biscotti are delicious too. Oh boy, I can’t decide which is my favorite. I’m happy to get either of the three. Now I’m always on my absolute best behavior to show that I deserve a treat or two every day.

When I got on the computer the other day I saw that my mommy had sent a Twitter message to @PawsativePets and asked if she could eat MY treats. Can you believe that? Since my treats are made from organic human-grade ingredients then she can but I really wish she would stick to her little Trader Joe’s nut mixture that she loves so much and leave Pawsatively Healthy Pet treats to me.

I’m not hatin’ on 50 Cents’ dog Oprah when I say she needs to clean up her act. I’ve been following her on Twitter — let the record show that I had @Lucy2Lucia well before @OprahTheDog came into existence– and think she needs her potty mouth washed out with soap. She calls herself a lady but real ladies don’t use the kind of language she does. The things she writes are unprintable in this family blog so you’ll have to go to her Twitter page to read for yourself.

I will say I’m downright jealous of her following though. She joined Twitter a few days ago and already has well over 9,000 followers. She’s almost as popular as Oprah Winfrey. But that’s okay. I’ll get there one day. And in true ladylike Lucy fashion.

I got all excited today when I heard about Twitter for dogs. Supposedly a new product that allows canines like me to post updates to Twitter. But it was much ado about nothing. Puppy Tweets wants me to be like all of the other pooches out there — and that I will never be!

I admit, it’s a cute idea — a device on the dog above that promises this on its website:

Whenever your dog moves or barks, the Puppy Tweets™ tag detects it and sends a signal to your home computer. Your computer receives the data then sends a Tweet from a bucket of preselected Tweets to Twitter. Puppy Tweets™ recognizes level of movement, sound, time of day, and day of the week.

I’m a lap dog and the only time I run is in the morning when I rush down the stairs to empty my bladder. If I see a cat in the backyard then I’ll cause a ruckus and maybe chase it. But that’s not often. For the most part, I’m pretty lazy and don’t run around. So I guess all my Tweets will read the same since they’re pre-programmed to something like, “I barked because I missed you.”

Thanks but no thanks. I’ll stick to ruining my nails as I try to type 140 characters or less @Lucy2Lucia. Puppy Tweets is for the birds, or those dogs that lack imagination and typing skills.

Bikini season is almost over, just as I’m finally getting into shape.

On Sept. 8 I weighed 6.75 pounds — down from an all-time high of 8.44 pounds on April 23. That’s almost 2 lbs.!!! I’m no mathematician but isn’t that about 25% of my body weight? Whoo-hoo. Let’s celebrate with a piece of filet mignon.

How did I do it? Not by exercising, that’s for sure as my owner still doesn’t walk me as much as she should. And I didn’t do the Zone Diet, drink only lemonade or eat only cabbage soup. And I didn’t pop any pills or have Lap Band surgery. No, I did it the right way. I changed my diet and went on Hill’s Prescription Diet r/d canned food. Now I’ve been on r/d before. I ate the dry stuff for a couple of years in New York and kept putting on weight, despite being walked a few times everyday. Finally, my mommy quit forcing me to eat it. I didn’t like it and only ate it when I was starving.

I tried a variety of dry foods for the last year, including Paul Newman’s Premium Organic and Dick Van Patten’s Natural Balance reduced calorie formula. So much for celebs. Nothing helped. I kept getting pudgier.  Exasperated, my mommy started telling people I was big-boned, not fat. Then she decided to go back to r/d dry. But thankfully for me the vet didn’t have any in stock when she left me to be boarded so she allowed them to give me wet food for the first time in my life. Boy, is it good! And it works.

So what if it costs a little bit more. My health is my priority, not my mommy’s wallet. And in the long run, I’m going to save her money because I’m no longer obese.  I’ve heard that 40-50% or dogs are overweight. The other day I saw my mother’s friend Shindana for the first time in a long time. She commented about how fat I am. It’s true, I can still stand to lose another pound. But if she had seen me a few months ago, I was a real porker. Now I’m almost ready for a bikini.

If I look mad it’s because I am.

Kevin doesn’t call me “The Bachelorette” for nothing. I should be used to staying home by myself by now but I’m not. It’s lonely. And I ate all of my treats.

I can usually figure out how long I’ll be on my own by the number of wee wee pads put down. There’s only one down so I know  it won’t be much longer.

I wish more pet owners were like Gail Posner, who left $3 million in a trust fund for her pampered Chihuahua Conchita and two other dogs, Lucia and April Maria.

I’m not really sure why people are put off by this news. Dogs deserve to be taken care of in the same manner after our owners die. And Conchita has her own car, goes to the animal spa weekly for manicures and pedicures, has a pretty extensive wardrobe with clothes and jewels and deserves to stay in the same Miami Beach mansion where she’s always lived.

I never like hanging around other dogs but I could be Conchita’s new BFF. Book me a flight to Miami.

I’m spending a month in Italia, my favorite place! Here I am waiting patiently to see the veterinario, who was a very nice man although he should know that dogs have very good hearing.

After removing a glob of gum and dirt from my zampa, that’s paw in Italian in case you didn’t know, he leaned in to my owner and whispered that I am “grassa,” which means fat! Oh, was I insulted. I’ve been exercising like a mad dog, huffing and puffing through the hot streets of Tropea. How else does he think I got that damn gum embedded so deeply in my paw?

I haven’t been on a scale in a while but I feel so much lighter than when I left the States on May 10. But I guess to other people, I’m still a fat pooch. He suggested my owner feed me less! Is he crazy? I’m barely getting 1/2 cup of reduced calorie food as it is. If I’m good, and I usually am, I get a couple of treats at night. And that’s supposed to sustain me?

I don’t even know why she went to see him anyway and why she couldn’t remove the gum. She soaked me in a sink on la terrazza for a while but the most she did she unloosen the sticky substance from my tail, which had become attached to my paw.  I must admit, the gum was wrapped around the pads pretty well. The vet used scissors to remove one part and thought he was done. But my eagle-eyed mommy pointed out that there was more. Couldn’t he see that? He grabbed what looked like a surgical instrument and went to work pulling and tugging it lose. Boy did it hurt! I may not have many teeth left but  I turned toward the vet and let him know that I was willing to use whatever I have left to bite him.

“La testa,” he told my owner, indicating to her that he wanted her to hold my little head.

As we prepared to leave, my mommy reached into my carrier. The vet saw this and said no, there would be no fee. Did he really think she was grabbing her wallet? Not my mommy! She brought my pink leash out of the bag and I chuckled to myself.

That was my exciting day.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve stayed at Le Byblos Hotel in St. Tropez but I do know that my stay this month goes down as my favorite.

Check out the new doggie beg and doggie dishes they added. And there is even a room service menu for dogs. But I didn’t get to try any of the items. Doesn’t my mommy know that I get tired of eating the same food every single day? Sure, she gave me a French fry (we are in France, after all) and some bread (aren’t I supposed to be trying to lose weight???) and some of her grilled fish at Club 55, but it would certainly be nice to have room service delivered to ME for once.

I’ve been to Monaco several times so going again, for the Grand Prix for the second time, was no big deal. What was great was that I finally started getting regular exercise. Isn’t it amazing how some owners go to the gym every day yet neglect their pooches’ exercise. No wonder there are so many overweight dogs.

I vow not to remain one of them! My doc says I have to lose two pounds. That’s about a quarter of my weight but I know I can do it. I huffed and puffed up and down the streets on Monte Carlo. I should have lost a few ounces but I’m not sure.

I was surprised that every time my mommy dragged herself back to our room at the Fairmont hotel, she took me out for a walk. I got to meet a lot of people at 4 and 5 a.m. One guy, an Italian of course, was all over me. He used to have a Chihuahua. I was a bit of a diva but he didn’t seem to care about my attitude. I also saw race car driver Lewis Hamilton leaving Flavio Briattore’s nightclub Billionaire one night, or should I say early morning. He’s barely taller than me! I wish I had my camera so I could have taken a photo with him but at that hour I didn’t. Oh well.

And really, I didn’t have my camera on purpose. I’m a little embarrassed about how big I’ve let myself get so I’m not crazy about being photographed right now.